Parenting is hard no matter how you do it, but to parent with Jesus first takes everything. There is a difference in raising a child in a Christian home and raising a child in a Christ-centered home (Antoinette, thank you for the words I’ve tried to find). Chris and I have been the youth pastor of hundreds of teens. Those just growing up in a Christian professing home are the hardest of all teenagers to reach (I’ll just leave that one there). To put Christ at the center requires a parent to lay their lives down daily. It takes word and deed. It isn’t just an add-on, it’s all your eggs in His basket. It necessitates sacrifice at an unnatural level….it takes a supernatural degree. It’s the life that each believer is called to, but the way is narrow…not many choose it. The ones choosing Christ first in their homes tap into a power greater than themselves. They activate truth and promises beyond their own ability. They lean on the best Father ever verses giving Him a glance every now and then.
Now, I don’t claim to have done the parenting thing even close to perfectly, but I have taken God at His word about it. I set my heart and mind on doing it unto Him. I poured myself out and He, in turn, poured Himself in. I homeschooled all my girls in elementary. I was also their children’s pastor. Bible was my favorite subject to teach them. It was the joy of my life, but I thought those years would kill me. It stretched me thin, but I’ve found myself missing the years when I had them all to myself. Being alive for as long as I have has taught me that no matter how difficult the season I’m in is, there is always something I’ll miss about it when it’s gone. Oh how I miss the season of school in pjs, cartoon breaks, backyard playing, and magical escapades. I miss my little girls.
These days, I’m reminding myself to dig into what I’ll miss when this season is over. I’m trying not to be so focused on what I don’t like about this season (because there is more than enough of that to go around), and to recognize all I have to be grateful for. My goal right now is to let happiness be a celebration of God’s goodness and not a feeling I seek. Feelings are always fleeting. God’s goodness never fades. The pursuit of happiness is one without end. It’s like trying to hold water in your fist. It always escapes and needs another try. God’s goodness is most illuminated in our gratitude. If we live in a state of gratitude, we’ll see His goodness everywhere. Gratitude will alter the way we feel. It will produce joy. Happiness can come as a fruit of joy, but happiness alone is more like a piece of fruit picked from the vine. It will only last for a short time. Joy is like a plant that keeps producing.
Today I am grateful for more than I can put into words. I am grateful that my kids still have their mother and father. I am grateful that God has used the last two years to make them even more resilient and stable. I am grateful for the beauty that overflows from the inside of them. I am grateful for their discernment. I am grateful for how they use the tools they’ve been given and how they are directed by their love for God. I am grateful for the seeds of truth that are maturing in them, and I am grateful that God’s word can be trusted every time.